BREAKING: Liz Truss to start new job in JD Sports

Former Prime Minister Liz Truss will be starting a new job at the Merthyr branch of JD Sports from Monday.

She will be joining Kwasi Kwarteng and Suella Braverman, replenishing shelves with new lines of sportswear.

A spokesman for Downing Street told WalesOnCraic:

“We’re sorry to see her go. Actually, we’re not. I’m not sure what planet she was on but it definitely wasn’t Earth. We’ve spoken to the people at JD Sports and they said that they’d take her on as an apprentice. She starts on Monday.”

Kelly BigDaps, who works at the Merthyr branch of the famous sportswear shop said:

“Liz who? Nope. Never heard of her. I’m glad we’re getting someone new though because I need to have some time off for my hen night and maybe he can cover some of my shifts for me. Lush.”

Truss is expected to undergo three weeks of training before being allowed to stack shelves.

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