Boris tells NHS: ‘Your first £330m cheque is in the post’

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson has told the NHS that his first payment of £330 million is in the post.

NHS bosses, who were promised £330 million extra a week, are still waiting for their first payment.

A spokesman for Downing Street told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve had a bit of a cashflow problem this week but the PM has assured me that he has put the first cheque in the post. We had a bit of trouble because we were saving up to get Big Ben all up and running ahead of our Brexit Party but that all went tits up and someone walked off with the money that we had saved. We’ve diverted some funds from some kids charity and I saw Boris scribbling on a scrap of paper last night so I assume that the cheque the NHS has been waiting for. They’re always moaning about not having enough money so it’s nothing new to us.”

One NHS boss added:

“We need that money to pay for our Christmas party next year. We’re hoping to hire H from Steps to come sing for us and we know that he’s not cheap.”