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Beluga ‘spy’ was looking for Salisbury Cathedral


A beluga whale that was allegedly working on behalf of the Russian spy agency has told the media that he was just looking for Salisbury Cathedral.

The whale was found by Norwegian fishermen and was apparently armed with an AK-47 and a Tourists’ Guide to Salisbury.

The whale told reporters:

“I’ve heard about this legendary cathedral that you have in Salisbury. Its tower measures a wonderful 123 metres into the air. I set off from St Petersburg three weeks ago and I think I must have taken a wrong turning somewhere along the line. The next thing I know, I’m swimming alongside some fishermen who turn out to be Norwegian. They were very kind and fed me some of their fish and they also patted me on the nose. They were concerned about some strapping that I had around me but I like to keep my tourist guides strapped in there so I can reach it with ease.”

One of the Norwegian fishermen said something but it was in Norwegian so we didn’t know what he said.

The beluga whale has said that some of his dolphin mates have also been to Hereford, where they were looking to join the SAS.

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