BBC to introduce grunt-free Wimbledon

The BBC has introduced a grunt-free version of Wimbledon on its iPlayer.

Viewers will now be offered a No Grunt option by clicking on the red button.

A spokeswoman told WalesOnCraic:

“My husband came home from work last night and thought I was watching lesbian porn. I had to explain to him that it was the women’s tennis but even then, he didn’t believe me. I’ve been into work today and decided that we need to offer our viewers a No Grunt option. We’ve hired a lad to sit there through every game and mute every grunt. We’re paying him minimum wage but have told him that it’ll look good on his CV.”

One tennis player said:

“I like to grunt because it makes the ball travel 10% faster than if I didn’t grunt. It also puts my opposing player off and also makes for dramatic television. I started grunting lessons at the age of 5. I now grunt whenever I exert myself physically, like putting the bins out and lifting my feet while my partner hoovers the living room.”

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