Whitmore Bay, more commonly known as Barry Island, is to open as a nudist beach this summer.
It means that the beach will be full of acorns, fried eggs and growlers for the first time.
Sidney Slimeball from the local council told WalesOnCraic:
“Since Butlins disappeared, we have struggled to draw in the crowds to the beach. We’ve tried all sorts – filming a mildly-amusing-but-now-very-dated comedy here in Gavin and Stacey; we’ve tried luring in the big spenders with the conversion of the amusement arcade Just Pennies into Just Pounds; but none of it has worked. Me and some of the other council lads were down the pub last night and we were talking women like we always do, and we thought it’d be nice to see lots of naked women on the beach over the summer. So we went back to the council chamber when no-one was there and passed a motion. Then we made up a new rule that Whitmore Bay is to become a nudey beach over the summer.”
Locals were horrified to hear the news. Grahame Smoothe said:
“The last thing I want to see when I wake up in the morning is a crusty old codger walking around with his maggot hanging between his legs. It’s never the good-looking ones who come to these nudist beaches you know – it’s always an old German couple with saggy arses.”