Banned Sepp Blatter to start new career as Zumba instructor in Barry

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Former FIFA boss Sepp Blatter is set to make a career as a Zumba instructor in Barry.

He’ll be joining the likes of José Mourinho and Jeremy Clarkson at the Coconuts Play Hall.

Zumba leader Giles Smallballs told WalesOnCraic:

“I can’t believe we’re getting so much talent in. Now that José and Jeremey are taking the seniors class on Wednesdays, I thought I could slot Sepp in on a Thursday afternoon because that’s when I like to get my nails done. We are also looking for someone to do our accounts and I know that Sepp has great experience of getting money out of people so we’ll also be looking to get him to look over the books. I used to charge £3 per class but with the rate of inflation and the way that the national deficit is looking, I’ll be looking to increase that to £3.20.”

Sepp Blatter has found himself out of work after the Ethics Committee of FIFA booted him out. They told WalesOnCraic:

“We always advise never to shit on our own doorstep. Not only has he done that, but he’s trodden it all through the house.”

Sepp starts his new role on Thursday after Loose Women.