Bank Holiday weather to go to shit

Wales’s Bank Holiday weather is set to go to shit this weekend, according to forecasters.

Bang on time, barbeques up and down the country will be washed out by shitty rain, hail and heavy thunderstorms.

Welsh weather forecasting legend Derek the Weathersheep told WalesOnCraic:

“We’re all ok up here on our farm. We’ve stocked up on Malted Milks and teabags. The rest of the country may not get off so lightly though. Heavy downpours are expected and thunderstorms will keep some people awake throughout the night. I would urge people to pull on their rubber wellies if they are going to get hit by lightning.”

One woman who lives at the top of a mountain has had her house hit by lightning several times already this year.

“I think God’s punishing me for watching that dirty film last month. I couldn’t help it – I was in the mood for filth. God is very angry with me.”

Wales has probably now seen the last of the summer weather with snow moving into all parts of Wales next week. Probably.

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