News

Anti-wanker spray goes on public sale

A new spray that deters wankers from getting close to people has gone on sale to the general public.

Users simply spray the Anti-Wanker spray in the face of the wanker to keep them away.

Inventor Harry Halfhead told WalesOnCraic:

“The world is full of wankers from all walks of life. There are wankers at work, down the pub and often in the home too. My new spray has a unique blend that can be sprayed directly into the face of the offending wanker. In most cases, one spray will see them off but if the wanker is being a particular arsehole, you can spray it a second time and even a third.”

Shopper Wendy Twoporches said that she was looking to buy a bulk load of the spray:

“My partner is an absolute wanker – top of the range. I want him to move out but he says that he has squatter’s rights. He hasn’t because he’s an absolute wanker. Hasn’t paid me a penny in rent for the last year and expects me to pay for all the food. Then he expects me to jack him off while he’s watching Baywatch. Wanker.”

To Top