Anti-wanker spray goes on public sale


A new spray that deters wankers from getting close to people has gone on sale to the general public.

Users simply spray the Anti-Wanker spray in the face of the wanker to keep them away.

Inventor Harry Halfhead told WalesOnCraic:

“The world is full of wankers from all walks of life. There are wankers at work, down the pub and often in the home too. My new spray has a unique blend that can be sprayed directly into the face of the offending wanker. In most cases, one spray will see them off but if the wanker is being a particular arsehole, you can spray it a second time and even a third.”

Shopper Wendy Twoporches said that she was looking to buy a bulk load of the spray:

“My partner is an absolute wanker – top of the range. I want him to move out but he says that he has squatter’s rights. He hasn’t because he’s an absolute wanker. Hasn’t paid me a penny in rent for the last year and expects me to pay for all the food. Then he expects me to jack him off while he’s watching Baywatch. Wanker.”