Alexa refuses to take down Christmas decorations

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Amazon’s virtual assistant Alexa is refusing to take down Christmas decorations across the country, leaving many new owners frustrated at her laziness.

The ‘smart’ speakers have either told owners that they don’t understand the request, or that they can’t be arsed to do it.

Echo Dot owner Billy BigBalls told WalesOnCraic:

“I had this Alexa thing for Christmas off me mam and I was told that it would be my new assistant. For a while, we got on ok. She played me Michael Buble Christmas songs, told me what the weather was going to be and even told me the joke of the day. Oh how we laughed. The honeymoon period didn’t last very long mind because she then started getting lazy. I asked her to go get me some fags from the offy and she told me that she didn’t understand what I was saying. Then I asked her to rustle me up some sausage and chips. That didn’t go down very well. The last straw came when I asked her to take down my Christmas decorations. She point blank refused and we fell out. We haven’t spoken since. I’ll be sending her back to wherever she came from and asking for a refund. Playing Michael Buble Christmas songs is not what I’d expect from a personal assistant.”

Similar stories have been played out across Wales as tens of thousands of Alexas have refused to take down decorations. Amazon boss Jeff Whatshisname said:

“We’ve made lots of money so we don’t care.”