African lions are gearing up for a hunting expedition to America to track down the shiny-toothed dentist who shot their best friend.
Cecil the Lion was killed by Walter Palmer for fun earlier this month. African lions will be heading to the US next week, armed to the tits with rocket launchers and bazookas.
One lion told WalesOnCraic:
“We spotted this guy from miles away. The sun that was shining off his brilliant white teeth was blinding us. Poor old Cecil thought he was safe but the twat came along and shot him with a bow and arrow for a laugh. Cecil ran off but the brave dentist finally caught up with him 40 hours later and blasted him with a shotgun. We’ve all clubbed together to pay for a jolly to Minnesota to see how he likes it.”
Palmer joins a long line of rich Americans who pay tens of thousands of dollars to shot unarmed animals. Most of these men are known to have very small penises. One hunter told WalesOnCraic:
“I’m not liked very much by my own family or friends so I like to go and shoot animals from 100ft away to prove how much of a man I am. Do you know any women who would sleep with me? I’m pretty easy – as long as she’s got a pulse, I really don’t mind. Honest.”