A million people in Wales take up grouse shooting to avoid lockdown gatherings

Since England brought in restrictions of gathering no more than 6 people, WalesOnCraic can report that almost a million people in Wales are preparing for a similar one being introduced here, by Vaughan Gething, the Welsh Government Health Minister.

WalesOnCraic can report that since hunting and shooting groups will be able to hold gatherings of up to 30 people, in England, because of an exemption that allows licensed outdoor activity, the people of Wales have been preparing in case this is brought in, here.

All of a sudden groups have been formed in villages, towns and even cities across the nation.

In Saundersfoot, Pembrokeshire groups of 30 have been formed and the Community Council has designated the seagull as part of the grouse family. Janette Leonard, a holidaymaker said:

“I was down on the beach, minding my own business, when all of a sudden, seagulls started falling from the sky. I have been shat on by a seagull. It’s not very nice. But to have a Seagull Grouse land on my sandwiches was not much fun. I looked up as shots were being fired from a wall, by a group of about 30 extremists. In the last day, I have seen several groups of about 30 people, out shooting every Seagull Grouse they could see.”

Chair of Saundersfoot Community Council, Tarquin Thrustit said:

“I know we have had complaints from locals and holidaymakers about the seagulls swooping down and nicking chips or ice creams from peoples hands. Now, I can report the only noise you can hear is the sound of the sea crashing on the beach and people enjoying themselves. We thought that by accepting Seagulls as being part of the Grouse family, we could resolve the problem of the seagulls and allow people to carry on meeting in groups of up to 30 people. The bastards are all dead now and we just await the sea to clear all the blood on the sand, overnight.”

In Cardiff, WalesOnCraic reporter, Aunty Agnes met groups of Cardiffians who were taking it on the Grouse Pigeons. All afternoon, Aunty Agnes witnessed groups of up to 30 people taking potshots at the Grouse Pigeons. It is hoped that the damage to City Hall and the Senedd Building will be covered by insurance.

Rupert Rotter-Owen said it was only right that the rich should gather in groups and shoot the Welsh Grouse, ie. Seagulls and Pigeons. Believe it or not, with shooting in the Commonwealth Games, Wales should get a few more gold medals.

WalesOnCcraic reporter, Aunty Agnes can confirm that no Seagull Grouse or Pigeon Grouse were killed or harmed in the typing of this press article.

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