97% of Welsh men can’t evenly distribute lights on a Christmas tree

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97% of Welsh men can’t distribute lights on Christmas trees evenly, it has been revealed.

That’s the startling figure published in a recent survey by The University of West Wales.

The studied showed that 97% of women had to redistribute the lights once their fella had given it a go. Professor Tefal, who carried out the survey, told WalesOnCraic:

“The lads are total cockwombles when it comes to sticking the lights on evenly. In nearly 100% of cases, the women either asked the men to start again or told him to fuck off so that she could do it herself. In many cases, the man decided to head to the pub and leave the woman to do the rest of the tree herself. Police reported a spike in pub fights as the lads took out their anger on people who were smaller than them.”

Househusband Andy LardArse said:

“I always set out to get it right but it doesn’t always work out like that. I end up with too much at the bottom so I take it all off to try again and then I find I’ve got too much up top. I’d rather stay at my parents when the tree goes up.”