93% of Welsh mums planning on getting shit-faced and fat this Mother’s Day

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93% of Welsh mums are planning on getting shit-faced and fat on wine and chocolate this coming Mother’s Day.

The event, which celebrates the roles and hard work of mothers, is traditionally celebrated with gifts. But a recent survey found that a high percentage of Welsh mums are planning to abuse these gifts and let their hair down.

Maggie TripleGunt from Treherbert told WalesOnCraic:

“It’s the only day of the year that I get gifts because my kids are tight twats, despite the 20 years I spent bringing them up and paying for everything. All they ever get me is a shitty bottle of wine and some cheap chocolates, but do you what? They won’t even touch the sides. I’ll be inhaling them. And if I’m falling all over the place pissed as a fart, they can’t say anything because it’ll be Mother’s Day.”

Retailers are hoping to increase profits off the back of the yearly event.

Craig Greyslacks from Crappy Cards in Barry’s High Street said:

“We’re selling loads of shit for Mother’s Day. We’re quids in.”