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124% of women to spend Valentine’s Night with Tom Hardy on CBeebies

124% of women in the UK will be spending Valentine’s Night with Tom Hardy on CBeebies.

Hardy will be reading a special Valentine’s story that will make both female and male viewers moist.

A spokeswoman for the BBC told WalesOnCraic:

“We thought we’d give the ladies of our good country something to look forward to on Valentine’s Day. They’re sick of the flowers from the garage forecourt and shitty box of chocolates from the corner shop. We thought we’d get Tom back on our tellies so that the girls can sit in their PJs and drool all over him. It’s our gift to the nation.”

One viewer said:

“I’m going to get in two bottles of Blue Nun, a shitload of chocolate and I’m just going to sit there and have a massive throb on. I can’t wait. As far as I’m concerned, my husband can go do one – I’ll be spending my time with Tom thanks.”

One husband was concerned that he’d be left alone on Valentine’s Night.

“What has he got that I haven’t got? Ok, the looks, yes. Yes, and the money. Ok, yes. And the fame. And yes, yes ok. Ok. Well the only positive thing is that he’ll hopefully get my missis in the mood for love and I can take advantage of that when she comes to bed and realises that Tom Hardy isn’t there. I might even wear my Bane mask.”

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