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South Wales hit by ‘Tremendous Wobble’

Residents in a Swansea village were left shocked by a terror earthquake that hit Saturday afternoon. The giant wobble measured 0.08 on the Richard scale and sent pot plants and ornaments flying.

One resident was reported as saying:

“I was sitting on my sofa watching reruns of Ready Steady Cook on Gold when I felt a bit of a rumble. I knew for sure that it wasn’t my stomach because I’d just eaten a share bucket from KFC to myself. I refreshed my Twitter and saw that others in the village had also felt a bit of a jiggle.”

Ivor, the local postman in the village said:

“I was doing my daily postal run and didn’t feel anything but I did notice that a roof tile was loose on number 76. I saw Dai the Pie who was out walking his Westie, Dougal. Apparently he’d seen a pot plant on its side further up and a semi-detached up by the roundabout had to realign a picture frame that had moved 8 degrees off square. I just can’t believe something like this has happened in the village. Nothing ever happens here.”

Business owner Sue Scissors added:

“I was cutting Barry Eighteen Months’ hair when the whole room shook uncontrollably. I almost chopped his other bloody ear off. It was so dangerous. Something needs to be done about this before someone loses a limb.”

PC Peter Jenkins said:

“We received 765 calls in 3 minutes from people reporting that an earthquake was ongoing. We reassured the public to stay calm and that we would do patrols of the area. Initially, we received a report of someone trapped in a building, but it turned out that Kelly from number 23 had just locked herself in the bathroom by accident.”

We’ll continue to monitor the situation.

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