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Rudolph takes revenge on years of bullying by killing all the other reindeer

Festive favourite Rudolph has taken revenge on years of bullying and murdered all his teammates.

All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They also didn’t let him join in any reindeer games.

Rudolph told WalesOnCraic:

“Ever since I joined the team, they’d be there with their shit noses, laughing and calling me names. It was clearly jealousy on their part as my nose glowed so bright. Santa always picked me out to lead the way every Christmas because my nose could light the way. But you see, these other reindeers couldn’t handle that. They got their hands up their furry arses. They would never let me join in any reindeer games and I felt very alone for a long time.”

Things came to a head a few nights ago. It was a foggy night and I hadn’t slept much the night before. There they were, laughing and calling me names again. Then my head snapped. I simply cut them free from my harness and they all plunged to their deaths. I have no regrets. In fact, I feel that a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I’ll do my time but I don’t think I’ll every regret it.”

Santa was unavailable for comment.

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