Former Great British Bake Off host Mary Berry is set to become the new England manager as current manager Sam Allardyce fights off corruption allegations.
Mrs Berry is currently out of work after telling BBC bosses to ‘Go eat a bag of dicks.’
A spokesman said:
“Mary is very keen to take over the reigns of England manager as she’s always loved football. Back in the day, she played for ‘Posh Ladies FC’ as a striker. She could out dribble any of her opponents and she had a killer curler on her. Becoming England manager will give her something to do in between baking cakes.”
A spokesman for the FA said:
“This is the first we’ve heard of it mate. Are you sure you’re not just making this up for some shitty spoof news site?”