A fox has left a steaming turd in Theresa May’s pink slipper.
The atrocity was an apparent revenge crime for Theresa May’s support for fox hunting.
A member of staff at Downing Street told WalesOnCraic:
“The Prime Minister had left her pink slipper outside the back door of No.10 as it was beginning to smell like a tramp’s arse. She tends to go through slippers very quickly because she doesn’t wash her feet after taking her shoes off. So anyway, she popped the slippers outside and when she came downstairs this morning, she found a steaming turd in her slipper. We checked the CCTV and caught a fox taking a shit in her slipper. He looked right into the CCTV camera and smiled as he curled it out. This is exactly the reason why we need to repeal the fox hunting ban and destroy these little orange bastards.”
A spokesfox for the nearby den said:
“We shit in anyone’s slippers who think they can take our land from us and then have the audacity to say that we’re encroaching on their way of life. She was lucky that it was just her slipper as we know she sleeps with her mouth open.”