England rugby fans have been told that they can’t sing their usual dreary song about chariots at the forthcoming Wales v England game on Saturday.
Officials have told the fans that the song drags the atmosphere of the game down to Twickenham levels.
One official told WalesOnCraic:
“England fans are entitled to sing what they want – apart from this bloody song. Whenever they start singing it, the whole place sighs and dips into deep depression. I’ve seen happier looking blood hounds than some of the fans when that song is sung. It’s got no rhythm to it, no fire – it’s just like one long drone. We’ve taken the unusual step of banning the song being sung in the hope that they’ll sing something a bit more uplifting – something like Agadoo or maybe something from a Disney film. We just can’t stand hearing about bloody chariots.”
Tarquin Smythe-Peacock, President of the Jolly Chaps of England Rugby Society said:
“What? This is outrageous! One should be allowed to sing one’s favourite song if one so desires. We’ve got all our cucumber sandwiches packed ready for Saturday but I can’t imagine not singing our song. I’m going to write to my local MP about this. It’s an outrage!”
Welsh fans will be able to sing their favourite song, Delilah, which is a song about a man with jealousy problems stabbing his girlfriend to death.
“At least that’s got a bit of passion about it,” said one supporter.