The Queen is planning to pull a sickie when President Trump visits next month. Sources close to the Palace say that she’s...
Actor Danny ‘Farking’ Dyer has been appointed the new Home Secretary after giving an impassioned speech on Brexit live on TV. Dyer,...
TV entertainer Bob Carolgees has hired former footballer Jamie Carragher as his new assistant. Carragher impressed Carolgees with his spitting abilities after...
Former University Regulator Toby Young is to become Phil Mitchell’s stunt double after leaving his government post. Young said he was more...
Calls have been made to nationalise Greggs the bakers. The company has become a national treasure, according to many fat wankers across...
A recent poll has suggested that 67% of the nation couldn’t give a shit about Harry and Meghan. The couple announced that...
Theresa May’s party conference speech is set to be turned into a six-part sitcom. The speech caught the eye of comedy producers,...
Polish workers from Poland have told the UK Government that it can have the Big Ben renovation done by Tuesday. The expected...
Beleaguered Irish airline Ryanair is to charge passengers if they require pilots on their flights. Passengers can be charged an extra £15...
Uber drivers who have found themselves out of work today have offered to fly jets for Ryanair. The taxi drivers pointed out...