We have been trying to beat the Mighty All Blacks since God invented rugby back in 11 AD. However hard we try, and whoever who pick, the other bunch of sheep sh-ggers always manage to beat us – usually by an average of 213 points per game.
But here at WalesOnCraic, we have come up with a 10 point plan to beat the All Blacks. Easy!!
1. Tell them the match has been changed to a Sunday afternoon kick-off and hope they don’t switch on the telly in their rooms on the Saturday.
2. If that doesn’t work, lock them in their changing rooms until after the final whistle by putting two lions outside the door.
3. If no joy with that, try and sneak an extra 16 players on and hope they don’t notice.
4. Or we could always make Max Boyce the ref and instruct him to send 8 of their players off in the first ten minutes. (Warning: we may still struggle to win)
5. Nick all of their black shirts and only give them pink ones to wear so we can laugh at them and call them French. (Warning: this may make them angry and beat us by even more)
6. Get Gareth Bale to play outside half for us. He will show ‘em.
7. Get Welsh sexpot Charlotte Church to get wrap her legs around Richie McCaw the night before the game. Look what she did to poor old Gavin.
8. Or maybe after they finish the Haka, get our players do the Boat Dance. Maybe it will make them smile and like us a bit and make them less mean.
9. Our best suggestion is to give the Welsh crowd semi-automatic rifles and tell them the person who shoots the most All Blacks can win an all-expenses paid trip for two to Caroline Street after the match (but they can’t order real chicken).
10. If all the above fails, we can ask the South African Team if they wouldn’t mind a run out for us but get them to pretend to speak welsh by saying ‘boyo’ or ‘butt’ after each sentence